Gemini

I took my last kratom pill a couple weeks ago. I've been using twitter, so I never blogged it, but it worked really well. I was getting burned out and depressed after that one engineer left, so I decided to do something, since it seemed like I'd spiral downward if I didn't. I took the 600mg kratom pill after work on a Thursday and poof, my brain was relaxed and nothing bothered me. I went from being miserable to not being miserable in a very short time with no side effects at all. I got through work on Friday, I was dragging a little bit, but went out and spent some money and felt better about work the next week. My attitude at work was fine the next week too. So for now kratom is my safety net. I did go on erowid and read about experiences with it, most are alright, but there are some idiots. They are like "Hey this made me feel mellow, guess I'll overdose on it like a freaking idiot!".

Anyway, there are so many idiots in the world, I doubt kratom will be legal forever. I doesn't make me feel good, it just makes me stop feeling bad so I can go back to normal. I have occasional episodes of depression, I always know it will end eventually, but it seems like forever when I'm heading into one. And two weeks ago I felt like I was spiralling into depression while sitting at work, then I told myself that if I could make it to the end of the day I'd go home and take a kratom pill, it was like seeing a light at the end of the tunnel already. And then I never spiraled into depression. Kinda neat.

There's roadwork on every road I take to get home after work, what used to be a 20-30 minute drive is now 50 minutes. I told my parents I might start eating out after work, just to go somewhere and have dinner and distract myself from the traffic.